Throwing Money Around (Week 3)

Seven thousand, eight hundred and fifty dollars… that’s what I have left after having my ass handed to me last week.  I lost on EVERY single bet, with the exception of Miami v. Florida… which was a freakin’ push.  This week I’m going for it, I’m going to find a way to rebuild my fortune or die trying.  A lesson to those of you reading:  if you’re wise, you’ll bet the exact opposite of every single prediction to follow.  Here we go.

UL Lafayette at Illinois

Line:  Illinois by 23.5

Bet:  Illinois

Why:  Let’s take a look at the last ten opponents for UL Lafayette… yep, not too impressive.  In the last ten games, Lafayette has been thumped by the likes of Florida Atlantic and Troy (which may actually just be some guy named Troy), in their only matchup with a real opponent, Tennessee steamrolled the 59-7.  Now they’re playing a very talented Illinois team at home, let’s go ahead and fire up the Tivo for what will become a game-length highlight reel for Juice Williams.  I would almost call this one my lock of the week, but there’s potential for even more greatness below.

Wager:  $750 on Illinois

Georgia at South Carolina

Line:  7

Bet:  Georgia

Why:  Much like the Wu-Tang Clan, the Georgia Bulldogs ain’t nothin’ to f*** with.  I don’t care if Steve Spurrier is the coach, I don’t care if it’s a road game and I don’t care if a large chunk of bookies are afraid to even publish a line on this game… write it down, it’s a lock.  Matt Stafford and Knowshon Moreno (possibly my favorite name in college football) are going to have massive games against this SC offense, whipping them by a minimum of ten points and a maximum of ten thousand.  Say goodbye to the top 25, Gamecocks.  You won’t be missed.

Wager:  $1,000 on Georgia

Kansas at South Florida

Line:  South Florida by 3.5

Bet:  South Florida

Why:  I just can’t accept the fact that Kansas (at least for the last two seasons) is a legitimate football school.  In fact, I’ll say it… they aren’t.  This game will mark the beginning of the end for an overrated crop of corn-fed Jayhakws as Matt Groethe passes for 300 yards and 3 touchdowns on the Kansas defense.  By half-time we’ll see an end to this game, hopefully silencing a few Big East critics and legitimizing the conference after a crushing loss by WVU last weekend.  At home with an incredibly enthusiastic crowd, USF wins by double-digits.

Wager:  $500 on South Florida

Ohio State at USC

Line:  USC by 10.5

Bet:  USC

Why:  This is why

Wager:  $500 on USC

Penn State at Syracuse

Line:  PSU by 27.5

Bet:  Penn State

Why:  In the first two games of the season, Penn State has at one point piled up 600 yards of offense and at another scored 28 points in 19 minutes.  Crap.  There’s no denying that Oregon State is a better team than Syracuse (there’s no denying that there are high school teams that are better than Syracuse), and against a tougher opponent the Nittany Lions offered up a 31 point beat-down.  I don’t know if ‘Cuse will ever find the end-zone in this one, but I can promise you that Penn State will… repeatedly.

Bet:  $500 on Penn State

Now for my three NFL games of the week!

New Orleans at Washington

Line:  Washington by 1

Bet:  New Orleans

Why:  Even without Marques Colston, the Saints will have no trouble moving the ball on a Redskins defense that allowed Eli Manning to pile up yardage.  Drew Brees may have lost his favorite target, but between Patten, Henderson, Meachem and Bush he won’t be alone out there.  New Orleans will likely have trouble shutting down Clinton Portis, but Jason Campbell’s total ineptitude at running a west coast offense will be thoroughly exploited by an impressive and ever-improving New Orleans secondary.  If you are unfortunate enough to have Jason Campbell on your fantasy team, make sure he’s on the bench this weekend.

Wager:  $750 on New Orleans

Green Bay at Detroit

Line:  Green Bay by 3

Bet:  Green Bay

Why:  On Monday we watched Aaron Rodgers throw for almost 200 yards and a score (even running one in) and Ryan Grant nearly hit the 100 yard mark… against the Vikings.  Last Sunday we saw Matt Ryan put up comparable numbers and Michael Turner explode for 220 yards and 2 touchdowns… against Detroit.  In the history of defenses, few can claim to be worse than Detroit was on Sunday, so ask yourself “would I rather go into battle with Aaron Rodgers and Ryan Grant or Matt Ryan and Michael Turner?”  The answer is pretty clear on that one, and I fully expect the Packers to only be limited by how many points they choose to put on the board.

Wager:  $500 on Green Bay

San Diego at Denver

Line:  Pick

Bet:  Denver

Why:  LT is off to a slow start, Merriman is out for the season and things just don’t seem to be clicking for the Chargers.  Conversely, Denver is out of the gate with a roar.  Jay Cutler showed incredible poise in the pocket, hitting previously unheard of receivers for 300 yards and two touchdowns while the two headed monster of Selvin Young and Andre Hall picked apart the Oakland defensive line.  This week Denver will see Brandon Marshall return to action, allowing Cutler to open the entire field to an aerial attack and keeping the SD defense off-balance.  I still think that San Diego has a fantastic season ahead of them, but it won’t be starting this week.

Bet:  $250 on Denver

Wow… an even five grand on the line this week, and it wasn’t intentional!  This is the make or break weekend for my “Throwing Money Around” series, if it pans out like the last one I’m pretty thoroughly screwed.  So, here we go, wish me luck and all that jazz.  I’m one Georgia injury and one Drew Brees collapse away from certain doom, but the game just wouldn’t be amazing without that sense of danger.  It’s going to be an incredible weekend for football (in High-Def for the first time ever at my apartment!), so pick up a cool half-case of beer and order a pizza.  Thank God for September.

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One Response to “Throwing Money Around (Week 3)”

  1. Kevin Says:

    There is little reason to not bet a literal house on USC.

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